By Hope Kemigisha
It’s ironic how the things we think can’t happen to us are exactly what we go through.
I used to think that having HIV was a result of infidelity or having multiple partners, little did I know that I was about to be a victim despite keeping my legs locked to my one husband.
In the 5th month of my 3rd pregnancy, I go to Independent hospital for antenatal care with my friend Irene and the docter asks me to wait so she can talk to me.
That’s when my fears almost choked me, some how I was aware that my life was in danger given the multiple partners my THEN husband had and the symptoms that I was always asking him about only to be told he had chronic ulcers and had undergone thorough checkup and treatment.
Foolish me, I believed him cause I loved him.
Mistakes we make on a daily.
Cut the long story short. I was HIV positive. I looked at my friend Irene and we both cried in hospital. The only thing I did was send a message to my husband and told him.
Thank you so much for paying me back with HIV.
Now this is a man I had decided to be his mother. His wife. His pastor. His attorney and his everything.
I met him with not even a penny to buy me a soda during our date nights, but as a gal raised by a Reverend money was not a factor to consider given he was also a Son of a Reverend and born again.
I was determined to work hard with him and pray relentlessly until our God promoted US. I didn’t see his poverty or anything.
I was ready to be a virtuous woman who stood and supported her man in thin and thick. I rented him his first house with my first salary yet I was fresh from University.
I bought him those Wandegeya suits of 80k by then, boxers, chairs, etc.
Held his shoes and shirt every night as a point of contact to pray for his breakthrough and indeed he got a good job which gave him a car and a better house . God was answering our prayers but that’s when women.
From receptionists, to bank tellers, to shop attendants to my own friends and relatives sprung in. What was I to do as a Christian woman? Run away? Divorce without giving it a fight? No.
I was fully wedded to him and had sworn never to desert my marriage As a Duaghter of a Reverend and as a Christian.
From Independent hospital, I go back home and never said a word for 3 days. I later packed my things and went to my brother James’s apartments in kintintale, I could not bear his sight. What a betrayal? I was sooo mad especially because I had never cheated on him. We were soo broke but I never slept with any man for survival and here I was HIV positive on my marital bed especially after giving this marriage my 100 and 90%.
He shamelessly followed me and fought to retain the kids and took them away, i kept quiet and was not ready for a fight, i don’t remember even opening my mouth to contest his raid. I only waved to the children and I spoke to my father in prayer. I knew he would not handle the kids, because it’s me who was begging people for money to feed them. So It was only a matter of time and he wiill fail. In fact my sister was bitter that I was just watching him take the kids away. I knew this battle was the Lord’s. After 3 days I get a call from police telling me to pick my kids because he was arrested. Long story short, he never bothered me again about fighting for kids cause that arrest was not normal. He knew, he would not win this one. A case was just forged and brought forward and boom he was taken in and guess what? The police man happened to know me from our previous encounters bailing out husband.
Well. This is what I told the Docter after recollecting my self. I want you to operate on me and make sure I deliver the baby safe. I will deal with HIV, the man gave me that look of “ is she crazy? May be HIV has gotten to her nuts,” he insisted on giving me drugs and that I swallow them but to be honest.
I never swallowed them cause I tried to swallow 2 at night and I got so dizzy that I gave up and surrendered to God.
I remember telling God, This disease is your business father. I never opened my legs to No man because you reside in me. You are going to heal me and real quick.
I know you like to delay your miracles and do them when somebody is on their death bed but please . Heal me real quick cause am innocent. Rich men offered me money, businesses , travels and I turned them down because I fear you and now this is what I get? No No No.
I was desperate at the moment.
I called my brothers and sisters and told them, they were very supportive especially Grace, Joy , James and Asaba.
I called my 3 friends Daphine, Dan and Diana and shared with them my ordeal and they were very supportive in my situation.
They brought us food and kept checking on us daily. In my heart and in my head, I knew the Lord would heal me. There was no option to that but to be healed.
I and my 2 Duaghter’s, we stuck to each other while heavily pregnant and I prayed like never before in my life. I was determined to live my life without this Man. It was a waste of time pretending to be married yet all I received was death, pain and heartaches.
But guess what! I forgave him again and we started off a family afresh. Now, in my thinking. I thought he would change after what he has put the family especially me through. I thought after this! This man will definitely turn back to God and change his ways.
He was so persuasive in getting us back and had a plan that sounded good and honest to my ears.
After all, I had gone through a lot with this marriage and I didn’t want to just give up like that. I knew God would heal us and restore us if he partnered with me in prayer.
Waaaa. I get pregnant again and now this is the 4th pregnancy, trust me I almost ran mad after finding out am pregnant again with HIV ( will tell you how I became so desperate , prayed to God to forgive me in advance, did research for the best Docter and carried out an abortion but the pregnancy refused to come out).
This man started sleeping out in Akamwesi, sleeping with married women , dude was on rampage. He was deliberately spreading HIV to other gals and women. ( I read all his Watsup women asking him about his Status since they had sex without condom and he would tell them exactly what he told me. I just had a total body checkup and am perfectly fine.)
Now this I could not take any more, that’s when I realized I married a ruthless man who cared about no body but himself and No matter what I did, he was not about to change at all. So I went into prayers asking God to help me get out. That’s when they chased us out of every house we went into.
They would chase us every two weeks and I ended up sleeping at a friends home with all my kids. Until he could no longer pay for us a house and in my head. I knew this was my perfect exit. God had given me a smooth exit cause one time I tried to leave him and he broke all glasses of the house , mirrors and said he would kill me, kill himself and burn the house. So I needed a lot of wisdom and God’s intervation.
That’s when I ended up in a house somewhere in kikonko bweyogerere. A place where I never thought I would stay my whole life. The toilets were pit latrines and we shared them with drunkards, my kids started asking me where the toilet was and how they can’t use the hole. They were fetching water from a swamp, from Munyonyo to fetching water from a swamp and using a pit latrine smelling waragi. I remember looking in the sky and saying. “ mukama Wano watusiiza? Is this how far you have brought me Lord?
And Yes. Reality hit me. My marriage which I had struggled so hard to maintain was over. All my years of hard work and sacrifice flashed down the toilet.
And this was now my reality. Me and my 4 kids.
What was I going to do? What would I feed them? What of school fees? What would my mother say? What will people think? That I failed in a marriage? A daughter of a Reverend. All this was running in my head.
And biringanya, posho, entula mukene became our daily bread. I became so poor that even the orphans I was taking care of ran away from me because of the situation and new status.
This world, ahaaaaa
Then God showed up with a Big Bang. ( coming up next)
In writing my testimony here am looking at 4 things and I’m not here to shame anybody in any case am the one exposing my linen hoping somebody out there can fight on till tomorrow.
1. To glorify God which is really my purpose on earth.
2. To speak to husbands out there, that every choice, every decision you make has an impact on other peoples lives. Please consider other people’s daughter’s, consider those mothers, think before you satisfy your desires and put family above everything else. These women have people who care about them. Same applies to you ladies who are living reckless lives. Please consider your partners and the people that depend on those people.
3. There may be women who are in my situation or are faced with tougher or similiar situations like these. I am sharing my story so you know that you are not alone, you are not the first to go through such and will not be the last.
The choices you will make thereafter are what will determine your tomorrow. You can choose life or death cause it’s all at your disposal. Being Christian does not mean we become stupid and tolerate every nonsense. It’s better to walk back home with nothing than be taken down the grave with regrets leaving the world full of orphans. We have to be serious with our lives please.
4. Please encourage divorced women cause you never know why they had to choose that path. Let’s not condemn but pray for one another offering support. No woman wants her marriage to end.
I will share how I hustled through life as a single woman.
How I got my complete healing.
How I have escaped sex temptations and being used as a single divorced woman
How I had to accept reality and start from scratch.
My prayer life and how God has blessed me.
Ooh not forgetting my New Romance.
God bless you all
Life is all about choices
Love you all.