After opening your heart to someone, only to end up having its love and courage dashed against the rocks of rejection, it can feel as if all the weight of the world rests upon your shoulders.
Whatever the cause of your broken heart, be it a romantic loss, a spouse or child disappointing you or a failed project, there are ways to overcome your broken heart and patch the pieces back together again.
Try to see the positives about the end of the relationship.
In particular, there is a sound reason they didn’t make it into your future, and that is a lack of compatibility. You can’t force the other person to feel the same way. And, if this person hurt you, they’re not worthy of you from that point onward.
Anything that you contributed or were told contributed to the breakup is water under the bridge. If the person really cared to make a go of things, they’d have been ready to work through any such issues. These things become convenient excuses rather than an accurate assessment of who you are or your self worth. You can certainly learn lessons from mistakes you made but there’s no need to beat yourself up over it––learn and improve for the next time.
Sometimes the relationship you need to fix /rescue is with yourself, not the person who left you.
Even if it wasn’t your fault (and seriously, talking about “fault” is unhelpful in personal relations), you need to take time out to find yourself again and be confident with yourself. Don’t start thinking about being friends with your ex right away––if ever. You have to be your own friend first.
Grieve but take care not to get stuck in long-term pity
Grief is a process to go through, not a destination to wallow in. In this process it’s a little bit like dancing, putting one footin front of the other, learning anew; each step you take is a part of your healing. Allow time to unfold and embrace your healing process.
Don’t be hard on yourself. Your feelings are normal, while suppressing them is not. Let the feelings out as needed, and respect that healing requires the range of emotions, rather than a stiff upper lip.
Don’t do this alone
You deserve tender loving care and support. Talk to people who can help you. Talk to friends, family, or even close co-workers. Most have probably gone through the same thing and can help.
Express your feelings. Sometimes you need to express your feelings of anger, pain, sadness and grief. Don’t be shy to cry or talk about the way you feel about the situation.
Take your dog for a walk, go see your far away relatives, go to Nyege Nyege, go shopping. Do things you love that will keep you busy so you don’t have time to think of the person who hurt you.
Rearrange your furniture. Especially if you had an intimate relationship, rearrange your bedroom. Wash your sheets, get a new couch. You’ll be distracted by moving everything, and when it’s all done, your house will look fresh, and it won’t look the same as when the person who hurt you was there.
Listen to good breakup songs. For example: Picture to Burn-Taylor Swift, I Will Survive-Gloria Gaynor.
Go to the spa, indulge in a new purchase, indulge once or twice to remember you’re still important and you don’t need a that person, you’re doing fine by yourself.
Party and flirt when ready
Flirting and partying are a good way to help you get off your feet, meet some new people, have a good time at the party/club, and getting ready are all fun ways to help keep you distracted.
It is vital to put the pain away and move on with your life and love. It might be hard but it’s worth it. Otherwise, you are giving away your power to the people who hurt you.